We may live in an asylum, but who is really crazy?
by Maeverick
Summary: L is not a detective, but a psychiatrist. Light is a schizophrenic, and BB has Obsessive Compulsive disorder. L trys to help them, and the other patients, but never knows if he is really doing good or bad...  Possible Future LxBB if I continue.
1. Chapter 1

**A story I wrote today, because I was feeling bored. It is inspired by Emilie Autumn, who suffered in an asylum. I don't know if it is any good, so review!**

"I am justice!" shouted Light Yagami for the fourth or so time that day. L sighed, walking over to his bed to administer his medication. Light had been at The Fairfield Asylum for four years and was showing no sign of improvement. L was one of the psychiatrists who worked there, and he could see that Light's case of schizophrenic megalomania was something out of the ordinary. Light had been admitted under the pretense that he was a god, whom he called Kira. Light had been taken to the principle's office one day, because he was caught with a note book that had lists of names inside it. In the front cover, there was a list of rules as to how the notebook was to work; the notebook said, "The person whose name is written in the notebook will die". Light was determined to eradicate the evil of the world, using this note book which he believed to have supernatural powers. Since his admittance, he had raved about L being a genius detective, and eating potato chips, among many other topics. He seemed to believe the asylum was To-Oh University. Although L had worked for many years at Fairfield, he rarely had seen delusions so grandiose and complicated. The story Light had spun for himself was really quite impressive.

"Here is your medicine, Light."

"No! I don't want to. I don't want to let the poison in. It makes me crazy. I won't!" He struggled as L was forced to feed him the pills, instead of allowing him to take them the normal way. L still remembered the day Light had been admitted. He had given a grand speech about university life, and had started talking about the pop star Hideki Ryuga almost immediately after.

L was not the only person in the asylum who took part in Lights delusions. Another patient did as well. The two seemed to have formed some sort of a relationship. Her name was Misa Amane. Misa had the same condition as Light. However, her delusions weren't nearly as far fetched as his. She hallucinated about being a famous model, and about being adored. This wasn't nearly as alarming as Light's condition; many girls dreamed of fame, but Misa was really self centered enough to believe it. She was going on and on about her agent, and her boyfriend Light Yagami. She seemed to be infatuated with him, but to Light, she was little more than a plot tool used to further him in his god complex. L walked over to her as well, and handed her the pill.

"No! I know you are a stalker! I won't let you drug me any more! You creepy pervert! Get away from me!" She jumped up and down, stomping her feet and causing a ruckus. L was used to this kind of behavior from her.

"Misa, you must take your medicine."

"No! Misa Misa doesn't do drugs! The public would never approve…" L held her arm in place, stopping her struggle and administering the necessary shot. Although the day at Fairmont had only just begun, L Lawliet could already tell it was going to be a long one.

"Yes Misa." L agreed compliantly, knowing better than to engage in an argument with a patient.

"Light! Light help me!" She called out. Light didn't respond. He was busy scrawling names in his note book. L walked to the next patient. Her name was Naomi Misora. She was in the asylum for having an extreme case of bipolar disease, and paranoia. She had made a suicide attempt once in her depressant state, right after her fiancé passed away. She had at one point been an FBI agent. Her dedication when she was in her manic state made her skillful and one of the best. She often refused to take her lithium, and due to her training in capoeira proved to be one of the most difficult to restrain. Today however, she was too depressed to even attempt resistance. This actually concerned L more than the fighting, and he made sure to note it in his daily report. He went to his next patient, and the one that made him the saddest. His name was Beyond Birthday. L had known him as a child, for they had both been raised in Whammy's house orphanage. They had even been close friends, until college. That was when Beyond had slipped of the edge. He had become obsessed with L, and mimicking his outfits, eating habits and many other things. Then he killed three people and then attempted suicide. He had then been diagnosed with a severe case of obsessive compulsive disorder, and PTS from seeing his parents murdered. Every time L saw Beyond, he felt a wave of sadness and nostalgia, for he was not able to stop himself from remembering their childhood friendship, the hours they spent together having strategic contests, each only content after they had surpassed the other. There was a time when L had even wanted to be a detective, but he had given this dream up when he saw what mental diseases could do to a person; namely his best friend.

"Beyond, it's time for you medicine…"

"No! I am L. I have to be L!..."

"No. I am L. Now, take your medicine." Beyond took the spoon with two fingers and poured the pink fluid into his mouth. This saddened L yet more, for this had been his own way of handling objects.

Finally L went to his last patient, Near. Near had Asberger's, and had trouble with people. He also had obsessive compulsive disorder, and paranoid personality disorder. As far as L's patients went, Near was by far the most sane. He had no wish of suicide, or delusions, he just simply couldn't get along in the real world. Near scuttled out of sight when he saw L though. L simply left his pills on the bed side table. He knew Near wouldn't neglect to take them.

There had once been another patient, named A. But in his misery at being contained in the asylum, he hung himself with a towel. This caused quite an upset among the patients, Beyond especially. Light merely cackled to himself in a corner, certain that it was the work of his death note. L lived this life, though. He had to help these people. If not, was he no better than the others, who merely locked them up, and left them to die? L had to help them… Especially Beyond, who had been his own savior once upon a time.

**Should I write another chapter? I liked it a lot, do you guys? If so, review!**


	2. The best thankyou ever

**Authors Note I realize it has been a long time since I last updated, but I have been working on a new fic, which I will post the first chapter of probably before the 17****th****, which is when I get out of school. After I am done with school, I will try to update each of my fics at least twice each. It would be more, but I am a slow typist. **

Light was worse today. He was raving more violently than usually, and convulsing around.

"Light, you really must take your medicine…"

"NO! God takes orders from NO ONE!" I was worried that I'd have no choice but to strap him down. I was contemplating this, when Misa ran over.

"Light sama! I love you!" She threw herself at him, jumping on top of him.

"Misa, I told you not to show that you know me in front of L. Do you want him to know that I'm Kira?"

"Of course not, Light!"  
"So go back to the studio…"

"Okay!" Misa skipped happily away. I heard a loud banging on the door, and went to answer it. The asylum wasn't like a mental hospital, more like a big house. It of course had all of the necessary mental hospital precautions, but it didn't have the all white feel that most mental care facilities did. This helped the patients a lot, especially Near, although being in a colored place didn't necessarily make him happier, it was better for him, and was the first step in solving his condition.

I opened the door, holding the knob with two fingers, and outside stood a tall, business like looking man in a suit and glasses. He had long black hair, and an imposing presence.

"Hello. Would you like admission to the mental hospital? I can assure you our facility is by far capable of dealing with any problem you could have."

"You are the problem. Why did you do it?"

"Of what are you speaking?"

"Why are you imprisoning god?" Oh no… Not another Kira worshipper… Before Light had been taken to the asylum by his parents (he was making lists of criminals, and his father's coworkers who he seemed to think would die.) he had made a website called , and it had caused quite a stir in the western society. Many people actually believed in "Lord Kira's" supposed power, and after being locked up, they decided it was their holy mission to break him out.

"I am afraid you are mistaken. Light Yagami is not god. He is a schizophrenic megalomaniac. He had delusions of grandeur, and that his father's coworkers, police officers were attempting to imprison him to give him the death penalty. As a result, and to gain supporters, he made the website. He is deranged. Before his parents dropped him off here, he was making lists of people in this note book, with death note written in gold. He seemed to believe that the gods of death would punish any one with a heart attack, whom he so desired."

"How can you speak that way about my savior?"

"He is not your savior, nor any one's. Acting this way will not get him released any sooner, nor will it help your own mental health."

"Please. Just let me see him. He saved me in a time that was very bleak."

"I am afraid I cannot let you in, visitors are allowed on Saturdays only."

"I have obsessive compulsive disorder. I have done the exact same thing every day for 5 years. I get up, and go to work. I go to the gym every Sunday, and every Thursday. And every single day, I write exactly one page of names in a note book. I scan those pages, and email them to god. He used to respond to me, praising me for my diligence, but not any more. Now he doesn't update the website. It has been stagnant for nearly six months. I need my savior back, or at least a little help to get back on my feet…" I mused over this. I was certain some of it was only the ravings of a deranged religious fanatic… But some of it was actual fear, and need for help.

"Although I realize a large part of your plea is simply your need to be around the person you are obsessed with, I think I will admit you, for turning away a patient is amoral, and you clearly do need some help."

"Thank you! I will tell god of your help, and he will reward you!" _Hah_, I thought to myself, _the only way he could reward me is by being more compliant about taking his medicine. _

"No. As a part of your treatment, you will not be able to access the Lord Kira website, nor will you be able to see Light Yagami."

"What? How will taking away my religion help me?"

"I am a psychiatrist, and since you have decided to admit your self to the mental hospital at which I am currently working, you are to follow my prescriptions. That is, assuming you want to get better. Don't make me call reinforcements."

"What? You never have loved someone like I do!" That stung, but only a little bit, for I knew I had. I had loved Beyond more than anything… I rememberedour first interaction. "Hey, freak!" Brian Dobson was the school bully, known for beating people up, especially those he decided he didn't like. I continued walking, ignoring his jab.  
"Whatsa matter? Not gonna answer my questions?"

"No."

"Listen to me, nerd! I want my history paper written by tomorrow! Got it?" You can call what I did next stupid, but there was no way I was going to work hard, and let him get all of the credit

"No. I will not do any work for you now, nor will I ever." I had profiled him as a socio path, without any part of him feeling regret for what he did to his victims.

"Hey! Yes you will!" He rammed me into the stone wall, punching me in the face. I tried to push him off of me, kicking him in the shins, but it did no good, for he held me back, wrapping his large meaty hands around my neck. I tried to scream, but it seemed that no one could hear me.

That was when he arrived, steak knife in hand, and held it up to Brian's neck.

"Let go of my buddy here, or your going to get some of your own."

"No! If you stab me, you'll go to jail."

"Really Brian? I never would have guessed, I have an IQ of 187. Whats yours, 64?"

"I dunno. What's IQ?"  
"My point exactly…" Now let poor little L go, or I will stab you. He's turning… Well to be honest, even whiter than usual," just as I was beginning to get light headed, he stuck the point of the knife into his neck. Only a little, but just enough that it would draw blood.

"Ahh!" He screamed in anguish, letting go of me immediately.

"Thank you Brian." He smiled superiorly, and kicked Brian, for he'd fallen to the ground. No one cared if the bulky kid from the orphanage got beat up.

"Thanks… Your Beyond Birthday, right?"  
"Yeah, that's me. Aren't you gonna thank me?" We were twelve, and seeing as how hot he was to me, I knew the perfect response. I stood up on my tippy toes and kissed him, pressing my cold lips (due to lack of blood flow/oxygen) to his warm ones. It was a short kiss, but very sweet.

"Thank you." I whispered to him.

**Please review! I'll give cookies! And strawberry jam!**


	3. Like a child

**Authors note: I am having a ton of time to write at school (I'm supposed to be working on a research paper on misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder,) and this story has been inspiring me, so here is yet another chapter. Special thanks to korn4457, Mystical Tears, and Meohy for reviewing the first 2 chapters. You guys are awesome!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own L, or Beyond Birthday, or Near, or any of the other characters, only this alternate universe. **

Mikami was giving me some trouble. Sure, as someone with OCD, who just got their routine all messed up, some whining was expected. But really, he was awful. Not only that, Near was freaking out because there was a new person. He had enough trouble with the people already in the house, so I wasn't entirely sure that adding another one was the best idea. Oh well…

"L, where is my Lord Kira?"

"Mikami, he is not Lord Kira. He is a deranged teenage boy named Light Yagami."

"NO! Do not insult god! He is justice!" He ran up to me, grabbing my note pad, and ferociously scribbling names on it.

"Mikami… I'd like my note pad back please."

"DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!" I took out my walky talky.

"Hello, security? I have a code yello security infringement,"

"By Whom?"

"Teru Mikami. Please take him away."

"Okay, I'm sending people over now."

"Thank you." I put the little black plastic box back in my pocket, sighing. Sometimes my job just wasn't worth it. That was when I heard another knock on the door. Damn… It couldn't be another Kira fanatic, could it?

"Hello." I answered the door, and standing outside it were 2 young men. One was blonde, and covered in skin tight leather. The other had reddish brown hair, was smoking a cigarette, and had a portable game player in his hand. An older, yet in good shape man was holding each of them by the scruffs of their shirts.

"I'm Quillish Wammy. These two boys are my adopted grand sons."

"What is the purpose of bringing them here?"

"This one, Mail is schizotypal I believe. He avoids reality, and is always engaging in video games. This one, Mihael, I believe is bipolar, and also a pyromaniac. On top of that, both of them insist on using fake names. They refuse to answer to anything but Matt and Mello. Could this be some form of paranoia?"

"I'm sorry to hear that. Of course I will have to give them each psycho analyses to see if you conclusion is correct, but your diagnosis seems accurate judging by their postures. And yes, I have seen paranoid patients before who exhibited similar side affects."

"Thank you. I was very worried about them, and this was the only place I could think to get them some help."

"Not at all. Would you like to come in for some coffee?"

"Yes, thank you." I walked the elderly man in, followed by his two adopted grandsons. They seemed to be a bit more than friendly though, given by the way Mello/Mihael was stroking Mail/Matt's leg.

"Where should we put them?"

"I'll just ask security to deal with them. They can each go to their individual rooms."

"No, that won't do. They can't be separated. They are extremely close. They grew up in an orphanage together, and haven't been separated since." That struck a nerve. Beyond and I had grown up in an orphanage together…

"No, of course not. I understand," I pulled out my walky talky for the second time that day, "Roger, could you move another bed into the single room at the end of the hall?"

"Yes, of course."

"Okay, thank you." I sighed. I had yet two more in mates to add to the mix. With these numbers, we'd have to start keeping people in cages, especially if they were obsessed with Kira. I led Quillish into my lodging, the part of the asylum where I lived. I got out a pot, and filled it with hot water.

"How do you take your coffee?"

"With one sugar, and one milk."

"How long have the boys been exhibiting symptoms?"

"A few months now. Mail has always been into his games, but lately its become unprecedented. The time he spends in reality is actually less than the amount he spends on his games. And when he isn't playing, he is confused. He doesn't seem to be able to tell the difference between reality and virtual reality. And Mihael, well he has just been worse lately. He will go from one extreme to the other. And when he is in his manic states, he is obsessed with burning and exploding things. So he comes up with these plans. They are brilliant beyond all imagination, yet all involve destruction. And when he is depressed, he simply lies in bed all day, eating chocolate."

"Yes, it does sound as though they are exhibiting the symptoms." I handed him the coffee, and was about to start drinking my own, when a piercing shriek filled the room. It was clearly coming from one of the parts of the psych ward.

"NO! There can't be any more!"

"Yes, Near, I am afraid that there are a few new patients," Roger was clearly having trouble dealing with the adolescent, but then again, he only had the job to pay for his insect collection.

"Get away from me!" I walked out of the room, and into Near's with Quillish in tow.

"Near, what's the problem?"

"There are too many new people. I don't like them. Especially that one," he pointed in Mihael/Mello's direction, "he's filthy and smells of ash. Please wash him."

"Near, they aren't going any where. They are patients just like you." Mello (as I will refer to him from now on) seemed to have been listening to this conversation.

"What did you say about me?" He pulled something out of Matt's pocket, who seemed to follow him around where ever he went. It was a liar.

"I'll set you on fire, sheep boy."

"Please don't. I don't know where your hand, or the lighter has been." Mello didn't take a moment's hesitation. He flicked the lighter with his left thumb, and threw it at Near, who's pajamas caught on fire.  
"Stop! Make it stop!" He shouted, clearly terrified.

"Quillish, please go get some water. And do it quickly. And as for you Roger, get security to remove Mello. And if you can, please also get some water."

"Haha! That's what you get for calling me filthy! Your lucky I didn't have more time!"

"L! Make it stop please!"

"Near, I'm trying." Upon this, Beyond wandered into the room.

"Fire? I want some…" He walked toward Near, who scuttled away, trying to avoid contact.

"Beyond, this isn't the time for that."

"But I must be L. The only way to beat L is to burn, you see." With this, he promptly burst into tears, and ran from the room.  
"Beyond!" I called after him. I could still only see that boy who had once protected me, and loved me so much. Finally, Quillish returned with the cup of water. The flame wasn't large, it had only singed Near's white pajamas. He wouldn't have burned his legs if he'd been willing to do stop, drop and roll. But seeing as he was obsessive compulsive, I didn't see that happening any time soon. I doused the poor boy, making sure all signs of fire were gone, before sending Roger to the doctor to get medicine for Near's burns.

"Near, can you stay calm? I need to go help another patient."

"Yes, I can. Will you lock my door? I'm afraid…"

"Of course I will, Near." I heard the lock click shut as I pulled the handle. Good. Next I had to deal with Mello.

"Hello, Mello. My name is L. I will be your psychiatrist."

"Fuck you. I just want to burn things, see?"

"Yes, Mello. I _can_ see that." I snatched the lighter from him, along with the complicated written plan he'd invented, and also illustrated. I flicked the lighter, setting the plans on fire.

"See what fire will do to things you worked hard on?" I asked him, watching fury develop in his eyes. It was then that I finally noticed Matt, in the corner with his games. I took the controller out of his hands, and confiscated his games, putting them in my pouch.

"Hey!"

"No games for you." I was nearly 97% certain that Matt's problems stemmed from the video games. Now I was finally able to go to him. The reason why I stayed in this job.

"Beyond? Are you doing okay?" He was crying in the corner of the room. Fire was kind of a soft subject for him. It had been with fire that he'd attempted suicide.

"L?" His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw me. It was times like this that I could tell he could remember our past, before something made him snap. Still crying, he wrapped his arms around me, and clung to me like a child. I petted his hair consolingly, and let him sob on my shoulder. I hugged him back, and held him until he fell asleep. My poor Beyond.

"I really do love you," I whispered into his ears. And although he was sleeping, I could have sworn he heard me, for his hold on my tightened by just the slightest degree.

**Please, please, please review! If you do, I'll love you forever! Also: Am I making Beyond too vulnerable?**


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